I once had a guy brag about how good he was going to eat my ass. Me, being the lady I am, assumed he was joking. On our first sexual encounter, to my surprise and delight, he tossed my salad so well that I’m sure neighbors 30 minutes away could hear my screams of pleasure! How uncomfortable I was….enjoying something that was not hygienic. I mean, I’m a very clean woman but it’s a fact that no matter how well you wash, the asshole will always have some shit in it! The further that tongue goes the more likely it is to find shit. It’s like digging for gold in a gold mine except there’s no prize of monetary value there! I dated him for 3 months….long enough to feel like he had given me a lifetime worth of tossed salads. In my current dating life, I would never order a man to eat my ass but I can’t deny what a good feeling it was…when done right. A part of me wonders how the fuck he got so good at tossing salads and then I remembered the reason why we broke up. Yea….I will never look at nuts on a salad the same again… ~KJM on Hump Day!