Moonlight. It’s nighttime and I am writing. I rarely write at night unless something deep within me cannot wait for the dawn. I just finished watching a 2017 movie called “The Wife.” The movie stars Glenn Close (as the Wife…Mrs. Castleman who is really a second wife), Jonathan Pryce (as the husband… Mr. Castleman), and Christian Slater (a scandalous biographer named Nathaniel Bone who wants to write the husband/writer’s autobiography). Before I bore you with intimate details of a movie you may not have seen or was not planning on seeing….let me get to the reason why I am writing you…under the moonlight. “The Wife” powerfully exemplifies how most women give up the core of who they are just to be loved by some man who is unworthy of them. The wife’s first mistake is she takes another woman’s husband. You cannot control who you love but you sure can try to control your actions. Picking up another woman’s husband typically means that you have freed her from her problems only to enslave yourself with the familiar issues that you so dirtily inherited. Are you following me? If not…just imagine picking up your neighbor’s trash and then dumping it on your lawn! That is exactly what Mrs. Castleman did! Mr. Castleman was married with a family when “The Wife” first laid eyes on him. The affair ensues and soon she is now The Wife…only her prison is far more toxic than his first wife’s. The Wife stays to the end…until he takes his last breath…engulfed in the flames of her husband’s deceit and affairs. Mrs. Castleman writes all of Mr. Castleman’s books throughout their life together. All he does is EDIT the books. Through each affair, The Wife writes explosive literary tales of their lives. It’s almost as if each affair passionately drives the words on the pages. And what does Mr. Castleman do? He cooks, cleans, takes care of their two children, accepts credit for each brilliantly published novel, and screws many women out of insecurity throughout his second marriage. I…mean…how could his balls not shrink?! He has just received a Nobel Prize in Literature for HIS WIFE’S body of work and no one knows it (for sure) but he and the wife. To add insult to injury, Mr. Castleman always tells people that his wife “does not write.” To the public, The Wife’s only job is to just take care of her husband’s brilliant mind and body. Insert sarcasm here and let me get back on track. I am currently writing under the moonlight because I found “The Wife” to be so disturbingly on point. Some times men ask women to make terrible sacrifices and we do it. No questions asked. This, however, is not one of those times. What I really want to get to the heart of is why the fuck we women sacrifice our mind, body, and souls without being asked?! Yes during the generation that “The Wife” grew up in, a female writer was hardly respected but as time went on…publication after publication…way before that Nobel Prize…why the fuck was “The Wife” not the author of her own destiny?! Why was she okay with laying the foundation for years and financially supporting her family with no credit from anyone but her loser husband?! Not even her children knew that she was the true mastermind of the family! Why do we women sacrifice so much only to receive so little in return?! I…try…not…to. Perhaps if I toned down my intelligence I would be his wife. Perhaps if I pretended I was not beautiful…I would be his wife. Perhaps if I did not make it publicly known that my naked body belongs to me and only me….and just the vision of it excites me three times more than it probably excites him….I would be his wife. Perhaps if I never told myself that I love myself everyday…I would be his wife. Under the moonlight, we sacrificial lambs cannot hide. You see…what frightens us as the sun comes up is hidden with a smile that is gone by moonlight! It’s just too exhausting to pretend at night. And of course…we hope that the darkness surrounding the moonlight…will hide our true hopes and dreams. “She does not write,” he says. Every time he utters these words…she, a great literary mind, dies just a little bit so that her husband can live another day. ~KJM on Serenity Saturday night. Who the hell taught us to give up so much of ourselves for so little?!
Archives for March 2019
Cheating is a tricky topic. It is so prevalent yet many of us that were cheated on or cheated…loathe talking about it. Cheating, unfortunately, is an ongoing conversation…especially the effects it has on families. But today’s blog is not that deep. I am really just going to scratch the surface on the types of unforgivable cheaters. Yes….I said UNFORGIVABLE cheaters. I wholeheartedly believe in therapy but I also believe some messes therapy cannot fix. 🤷🏽♀️ For example, a cheater that isn’t sorry he or she cheated. Throw the entire spouse away! ✌🏾 Now that I have laid a foundation….let’s dive into the my top 5 unforgivable cheaters! 5. THE ABUSIVE CHEATER! Now there is a lot wrong with this type of spouse! This is the type of cheater who cheats and blames it on their spouse. This person is never sorry for their actions because in their eyes…they only cheat because their spouse did not do this and that. 🤦🏽♀️ Yea…this is the type of person that suggests their spouse go to therapy to deal with their (as in the cheater’s) constant cheating! There is no accountability here so what you will get if you stay with such a person is…more abuse and cheating. ✌🏾 4. THE CHEATER WE EASILY FORGIVE! There are some folks out there that just keep taking back their cheating spouses without taking some time to reset their mind, body, and soul. Thus, they never get around to setting some ground rules of how they should proceed as a couple. With no penalty in sight….this cheater knows that their spouse will always take them back…without question. 🤷🏽♀️ 3. THEY CHEAT ON THEIR TERMINALLY ILL SPOUSE! Couples make all kinds of arrangements when faced with terminal illness. In this segment, I am not referring to the couples who agree one spouse can date while caring for the terminal ill spouse. I am speaking about the JOHN EDWARDS of the world! 🤦🏽♀️ This type of cheater cannot be reformed. Now I know what you are thinking….if one spouse is going to die….who cares about reforming this type of cheater?! Well this is more of a warning for this cheater’s new spouse. Don’t ever get sick because the same fate may await you! 👀 2. THEY CHEAT ON THEIR PREGNANT SPOUSE! Oh boy…this cheater is even worse than number three! If he will cheat on you when you are carrying one of life’s most precious packages….there’s a good chance there is no reforming this cheater! You are giving him the gift of life while he is out there disrespecting you. ✌🏾 1. THEY CHEAT WITH YOUR FAMILY/FRIENDS! This cheater was too lazy to pick their private parts up and cheat outside of your inner circle! This is a triple disrespect (he/she cheating right in front of your face, the family/friend who betrayed you, and your cheating spouse’s disregard for not only your body and your relationship but also their disregard for your family/friendship relationships that you once held dear). Throw this entire spouse away! ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾 ~KJM on Temptation Tuesday. Couples therapy is a wonderful thing but realize that some folks will never stop cheating simply because they don’t want to AND their spouses allow it! ✌🏾