Written by Kingston Jael Michaels, Performed by Grace, Beats by Davincii Productions, Produced by Loyalist, and Engineered by ANS Studios.
Archives for August 2016
Written by Kingston Jael Michaels, Performed by Scarlet, Beats by Davincii Productions, Produced by Loyalist, and Engineered by ANS Studios.
Written by Kingston Jael Michaels, Performed by Alexis Skyy, Beats by Davincii Productions, Produced by Loyalist, and Engineered by ANS Studios.
This is a test
Sex should NEVER be used as a weapon in a relationship nor in a situationship! When Julio and I lost our virginities to each other…we promised to never deny each other sex. And we kept that promise for all the years that we dated. Upset, happy, sad, or in between we were vocal about wanting to please the other person. However, I was almost always still mad at Julio even after we had sex!!!! I’m tired of telling folks that I can separate sex and love just as easily as some of y’all separate your groceries! 😇 Let me be clear though that MY body was MINE. Julio nor any other man had no permission to violate it nor pursue me sexually without MY CONSENT! 🙌🏽 In every relationship including marriage, men please get consent from the women you are with before ever touching her sexually and if she says STOP….you do that! Rape is nothing to be played with! I belong to GOD and only GOD. And the only human being that can give consent for me…is me! Now that that’s covered…lets go back to the matter at hand. I never use sex as a weapon in situationships nor relationships! But there comes a time in a situationship/relationship that a woman may have to shut down the pussy pot until SHE feels safe and secure enough to open it back up to the man she loves. I am at such a time with the Ex Factor! As my last two blogs stated, we have been arguing a lot lately and the arguments have been the worst I’ve ever participated in! It’s so unlike us! We are having huge power struggles over our levels of commitment or lack there of AND small shit that is just masking the real issue! It’s gotten downright ugly! The Ex Factor appears to be very forgiving and since the last blow out we have been doing much better. Yet all this arguing got me thinking about some advice Grace gave me a while ago….since the Ex Factor seems to be addicted to my pussy pot….maybe it’s time to shut that shit down until he gets that act right! Because I don’t believe in using sex as a weapon, I decided against it. Things have gotten so bad though that even our sex life (in my opinion) is being affected by it. I’m not thrilled by our sex life right now because we are so emotionally disconnected! For me it feels like a dog shitting outside twice a day….a routine….in which one must do to survive. No real thrill in shitting twice a day…but I guess I got to ask a real dog that! Lol. On Saturday, I spoke to the Ex Factor about just being platonic friends….at which he gave no direct reply. Since then we have been texting each other all day again and I’ve even woken up to a sweet text from him. Hmmmm…did you hear that?! That’s the sound of my pussy pot slowly closing!!! I LOVE this man but I’m not going to let him walk all over me and drive me crazy!!! So I’m taking Grace’s advice! Now Tiffany before you freak….I’m not pulling a 6 months without sex phrase like I did with Elijah!!! No way I could do without the Ex Factor’s touch that long!!! But I’m giving us a little time to fix our communication and get back on the same page! I know the Ex Factor isn’t ready to settle down and truth be told….neither am I. But we love each other and love takes WORK! I can’t have him making me do all the work and making me feel bad for it when he disappoints me! It’s time he steps up and perhaps if I’m NOT riding him, the fucking picture will become crystal clear for him that he better get his ass in gear! I’m a beautiful, intelligent, and loving woman but if he gets me to revert back into bad girl mode…he will regret it!!!! The vagina was built to outlast the penis in every way….hence why they usually die before us. Lol. Channeling Mama Michaels here!😘 Now for those of you worried that he may get it from somewhere else…he better fucking worry that I may do the same!!! Besides I’ve freed this puppy many times and I’ve learn two things (1) them young bitches aren’t taking they vitamins like they should and (2) he does love me. 🙌🏽 Now if he runs into a mature OG (Original Gangsta) like me…I may be in trouble (lol) but if that does happen…it was meant to happen! If you love something…don’t be afraid to let it go! I pray we fly and not sink but only God knows our destiny! So I close up shop for a bit. I’ve got my day job, this blog, and a vacation coming up that all my need my attention. Taking advice from my homegirl, Harmony, and focusing on me…while letting all that other shit fall in place!🙌🏽 ~KJM on Charm School Monday saying I’m over here masturbating, counting my pussy hairs, and eating Cheerios!🙌🏽 Don’t need any man under me that ain’t gonna do the WORK!✌🏾️ And for any other guy that may be reading this…um if y’all ain’t the Ex Factor…I’m not checking for you so back the fuck up! 🙌🏽
I have been meaning to write you sooner but I am ashamed. Ashamed of what I’m about to blog about. Seems like there is no better day to share this than Serenity Saturday. In my last blog, “He Will Stand There And Watch Me (The I Am On My Own Edition),“ I mentioned that the Ex Factor and I had a terrible fight. I cried through writing that blog but knew there was something I was keeping for you. During the argument, I saw a side of myself emerge that I’ve never seen before when having a conflict with a CURRENT romantic partner! While I felt like the Ex Factor was hurting and disrespecting me, where I took the argument was humiliating for me. You see, I grew up in a home where the Michaels had no issue with cussing each other out in front of us children. I vowed never to call my romantic partner out of his name (to his face) and to never take things to the point of no return but after years of not doing that…the day came Wednesday night! Now let me be clear, ex romantic partners will get cussed out in a hot minute if they cross the line! But even with ending things with Julio and Elijah, I gave them more respect than I gave the Ex Factor! It’s ironic that I’m arguing with him about him disrespecting me (unbeknownst to him) and I decide to retaliate and disrespect him in an earth shattering way. The only time I’ve ever seen myself this mad (or more) is arguing with my immediate family! No man has ever been able to take me there. But as he remained calm and did not return the favor of calling me out my name….I wondered if he took me there or if I took my ass there! I am by no means a cake walk. Kingston is a hot tempered Jamaican woman. And I don’t fucking play! But if you remember what I said in my “Alpha Female” blog….a true Alpha Female does not purposely emasculate a man she cares about and that’s just what I did to the Ex Factor. It’s like the rage in me took over. The worst part is I discussed the argument with Mama Michaels, who generally loves that I am a strong woman, and I told her EVERYTHING I said to the Ex Factor. First, a look of horror came over her face and then she told me that there are certain things a woman must never say to the man in her life (even if true) because he may never recover from it…and that I said a couple of them!😭 It’s rare I ever talk to my parents about my personal life but this was one time I felt like I needed my mother. And thank goodness she was there! Then the tears started to flow! I am so embarrassed by my behavior!!! Now I won’t say the Ex Factor doesn’t have responsibility in this whole mess but my growth is dependent on learning from MY actions not his! He has to go to sleep at night living with his issues while I tackle mine! To paint you a graphic picture….I will give two examples of things never to say to a man that DOES NOT apply to this situation but gives you an idea of the level of shit that came out my mouth: 1. The child you have been raising is not yours and 2. I have been fucking your brother/best friend! 😩 Now none of these apply to us but the things I said are just as spirit crushing! What the fuck is wrong with me?!! The Ex Factor was hurting me but it’s like he was slowly cutting me and I opened up the firing squad on him! Not a proud moment for me at all!!! Even with all I said (more like screamed into the phone) the Ex Factor kept his calm and still wanted to work things out! I said I would think about it but once we hung up I text him that it was over!!! Then all hell broke loose part two! Was there a fucking full moon Wednesday night because I was on one and not in a good way!🙄I couldn’t stop! But after my “Iyanla Fix My Life” moment with my mother, I immediately sent a heartfelt apology to the Ex Factor. He is speaking to me but with each interaction I just want to cry about all that went down. Yes the Ex Factor has left me “naked and uncovered” emotionally (see blog with that title) but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t hold my head up high and handle each situation with class! I stepped outside of myself for sure! Only the people that mean the most to me could ever unleash this ugly side of me but dear God they deserve the most respect! Meeting disrespect for disrespect isn’t the way to go! I want a deeper commitment from the Ex Factor and he isn’t ready to give it!!! I think this side of me emerged because I have never wanted a deeper commitment from any guy!!! So in my mind, if I want it….I damn sure better get it! Smdh. Not my finest moment but I am holding myself accountable! Sigh….I am forever a work in progress! ~KJM on Serenity Saturday saying never forget the golden rule: when you hurt someone you love…you hurt yourself ten times more. Pray for me!💙
Last night….really early this morning, I had the worst argument I’ve ever had with the Ex Factor. The conversation started innocently enough over text. I had been somewhat distant from the Ex Factor in the last week. Even though I spoke to him almost daily….I never told him I was off from my day job. Wait let me back it up a bit…prior to this conversation…yesterday afternoon I heard from Elijah…again! He sent me two messages and as usual neither of them said much. I’ve been read receipting him all summer…not to be mean but because Elijah is 39!!! If he has something serious he had to say to me..he could have picked up the phone and expressed himself. These little boy games of texting and what’s app messages all summer filled with Hi’s were just pure juvenile. This time, however, I asked Elijah why he was contacting me all these months and he instantly said he still “wanted me!” I got so fucking turned off! Not an I miss you nor an I love you (not that either of those phrases would change how I feel about him but at least I would have respected how he came at me). Even the Ex Factor’s young ass know better than to do such things. Who are raising these boys?! Because they sure the fuck come across as WEAK! Men, if you have something to say to a woman…and you have one chance to tell her…you better have more to say than what this fool had prepared! Does this shit work on other women?! Cause it left me dry! Dry! Dry! I replied to Elijah and told him I don’t want him and he ended the conversation rather abruptly! What’s wrong boo? Cat got your tongue? Feelings got hurt? Next time step to a woman…like a man! This is one of the few things I am sure of in life! I DO NOT WANT ELIJAH! 🙌🏽Life is too short to go through shit with some man you don’t love….or even a man you do love and he don’t respect you! Back to the Ex Factor! As I’m writing this….I am bawling my eyes out. I LOVE HIM (the Ex Factor)! But early this morning….I had to take back my power from him and let him go!!! This blog is dedicated to all the women I know (and don’t know) that’s going through something similar! LET ME BEGIN: He will stand there and watch me give more love than he does. He will stand there and watch me as I sacrifice my inner peace for him. He will stand there and watch me fall apart time and time again…without ever trying to catch me. He will stand there and watch me as I raise our children with no help from him (whether we live together or not). He will stand there and watch me fight the world to preserve our love…with no help from him. He will stand there and make me feel like an option…in dating…and even when we are married. He will stand there and watch me cling to my sanity when life gets hard for our family yet not lend a true hand to be there for me. He will stand there and destroy me while convincing me that I am the one destroying myself! In a sense, he is right. I have to take some of the blame because I allowed him to stand on the sidelines of our life while making promises that I could be there for us even when he checked out! Not only did he check out but he broke every promise to me…and our family! Worst part is….I let him off the hook! I allowed him to STAND THERE AND WATCH me as I self destruct! I, with my actions, indirectly told him that his love was worth more than mine. That he is worth saving while I’m drowning! Speaking of drowning….did I mention that I can’t swim? I taught myself when I jumped in the ocean and he promised to come in after me…but never did! I am a survivor so you damn right that in midst of those waves…I taught myself to swim! Hell I can fly too…that I learned for my children! They should never have to pay for my mistakes. Mommy will swim AND fly….I’m not JESUS but I believe in HIM and I believe if need be…HE would teach me how to walk on water! Because GOD is always able….even in the most dire situations! GOD IS ABLE!🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I want to say that I’m so surprised that he…just stood there and watched me. But there were signs…from the beginning, I’ve had to bend over backwards being super woman for us…sometimes forgetting myself in the process. Yea….he just stood there and watched me….and I let him…. ~KJM on Throwback Thursday saying we women…single and married…have to always set our standards high in our situationships and relationships. These men would run all over us and deplete us of everything if we didn’t stop sometimes and say….“motherfucker…not today!“✌🏾️
Do you guys remember when Beyoncé dropped the song “Ring The Alarm” from the album B’day?! I immediately fell in love with it but for some reason mainstream America and pop culture didn’t!!! For those who don’t know, “Ring The Alarm” is an anthem ALL women who knew their men when they were boys and had a hand in “molding” them should learn by heart! Beyoncé gonna ring the alarm (aka fuck him up in my opinion) if the man that SHE upgraded tries to ever leave her for another woman!🙌🏽 B, I’m right there with you (bat in hand and all)! That’s right…way before Beyoncé got some of y’all chicks in “FORMATION” and had you sipping on “LEMONADE,” B tried to forewarn y’all about what would happen if you upgrade an ungrateful man! But was y’all listening?! Nooo! So ten years later…we had to get our asses in “Formation” for not heeding Beyonce’s message with “Ring The Alarm.” Now let me say this….I’m not a Beyoncé fan but I respect her hustle and support when I can! Jay Z should have named her “the hardest working chick in the game” instead of the “baddest chick in the game!” Beyoncé be channeling her inner Jamaican self….unbeknownst to her…when she drops album after album…even when pregnant! All hail Queen B!🙌🏽 But I digress. This blog isn’t about Beyonce’s success. It’s got an even deeper message. I look at the Savannah James’ verses the Majorie Harvey’s of the world and I lose my mind! Now let me be clear….I love both women! But they are good examples for where this blog is going. Savannah has known LeBron since they were teenagers, gave birth to two of three of their children before they got married, and stayed with LeBron as he turned into “King James!” Now she don’t look it…but you know home girl been through some THANGS! I can’t even say things! Shit! Props to her for standing with beauty, grace, and smiles while LeBron grew the fuck up! Like I said…I don’t know them personally but I know the fuck what I have been through with the Ex Factor these last 6 years and he isn’t famous!!! His 20s bout to be the death of me or give me some serious jail time because most of the time…I’m looking at the Ex Factor like “no him bloodclot didn’t?!” See blog about the “puppy pissing all over my fucking carpet” for reference! Lol! Savannah, girl, can you send me YOUR playbook because these are trying times and I’ve spent 6 years loving a boy who will one day be an amazing man and I will be damned if some other chick comes along and claims the motherfucking final product! Hold up..wait a minute! I’m having a LEMONADE moment! 🙌🏽 Woosa! Woosa! Breathe in! Breathe out! I don’t want to have to knock a bitch out! 😇 lol. Now onto to Marjorie “fly ass” Harvey aka….Steve Harvey’s third wife! Now she may have had some influence on his “Think Like A Man” franchise but so probably did those two prior divorces! Wow! I’m about to lose it! ✌🏾️ I don’t know for sure but I can almost bet money that his first wife didn’t get this thoughtful, loving, and RICH Steve…Marjorie got! Girl…I pray she is somewhere living her happiness and they all get along well! But if I were her (and maybe she or the second wife did this) I would RING THE ALARM! I mean…I’m mentally out there swinging bats for all the girlfriends, baby mamas, and first wives who put their hearts and souls into supporting a man on his dream and when he became greatness…he bounced with some chick that never had to get dirt on her ankles! Bitch I think not! Back the fuck up! Too much work and too much time was put into this man! Matter of fact….I’m about to channel my inner Angela Bassett in “Waiting To Exhale” and have all his shit burning on my front lawn! Figuratively of course!😘 Now I’m not saying every first wife molded her man…not saying that at all but for every woman who did…this blog is for you! Sometimes I just want to give up on the Ex Factor! He takes so much patience and understanding that I’m digging for those things in the crevasses of my asshole and am pretty sure they don’t exist! But I’m a mess too….so he could be saying the same about me!😂 Boys are typically (I’ve found this to be true from my own experiences) many years behind girls from birth! I want to say they start behind in the fucking womb but I have no actual proof of that as I have never been pregnant but I’m willing to bet money on it! Smdh! What we women go through with men is just too fucking much and I hear it’s a lifetime thing! Your man could be 50 years old and still give you a “what the fuck was he thinking…let me get this brick and hit him in the face” moment. Though KJM never promotes violence. 😇 This is more of a mental exercise! Woosa! Woosa! If I am molding a man to be my King, I’m not just going to easily let another woman come get the fruits of my labor! No way baby! And if they do leave…it’s better to be the wife than the long term girlfriend because at least if you get the right divorce lawyer…a good settlement may be coming your way! Because let’s be honest…these dudes generally don’t have prenups when they don’t got a fucking penny to their names! You can be on the come up and leave me….but it’s gonna cost you! Channeling my inner Vanessa Bryant (Kobe’s wife) here….lol! ~KJM on Hump Day saying you ain’t gonna have me in the streets singing “Not Gonna Cry” because if you get shady….me and my lawyer will “Ring The Alarm!” Shout out to Savannah James, Vanessa Bryant, and Mrs. Marjorie Harvey if you nasty! 🙌🏽😍 Lets end the morning on some wise words from Queen B on B’day: [Hook:] Ring the alarm I been through this too long But I’ll be damned if I see another chick on your arm Won’t you ring the alarm? I been through this too long But I’ll be damned if I see another chick on your arm [Chorus:] She gon’ be rockin’ chinchilla coats If I let you go Getting the house off the coast If I let you go She gon’ take everything I own If I let you go I can’t let you go Damn, if I let you go She gon’ rock them VVS stones If I let you go Couped in the ‘bach or the Rolls If I let you go She gon’ profit everything I taught If I let you go I can’t let you go Damn, if I let you go
A woman can be basic and unnatural. As well as a woman can be “natural” and not basic. It’s not really about cosmetics nor style. Basic is a mind frame and it comes in all different shapes and forms. Basic is as basic does…. But let me remind you that the “basic” bitch isn’t better than the “bad” bitch. The bad bitch only has her looks and body to depend on while the basic bitch is missing brains, talent, spine, and perhaps looks. They both aren’t BOSSES🙌🏽 ~KJM on Charm School Monday clearing up any bad basic confusions lol
Well! Well! It’s Charm School Monday! Typically we learn deep life lessons on this day but NOT today! We are about to get ignorant! First off, I’ve had some down time in the last few days from my day job so my entire focus has been on my blog anniversary project and all the women helping me with it. I’m so preoccupied that I haven’t worn makeup since last Wednesday! Now if you know me personally….you know I have naturally flawless brown skin and I have no issues with rolling out the house with just some clear lipgloss and eye liner (I can’t leave either behind). But generally my face is always beat for the gods!🙌🏽 Now before I dive into the ignorant mess we are about to discuss….I want to speak to the basic bitches. If you are one…you may want to stop reading! I’m not hating…I’m just stating my opinion. For those who don’t know what a basic bitch is…this is my definition: a simple woman, who doesn’t take care of herself, always got something negative to say about other women who do take very good care of themselves, no ambitions, no goals, a doormat, and essentially a hater herself. Now that we have that covered…on to the NEXT! In general, the basic bitch is not my friend. However, sometimes I envy her freedom to never have pressures to be something….GREAT! The basic bitch doesn’t have to educate herself. She doesn’t need “me” time….she is whatever people want her to be. Me time would put her in a position to think and reflect and that’s just a hell no for her! The basic bitch doesn’t worry about pleasing a soul…not even herself because her “basicness”…for lack of a better word…is enough! She don’t got to keep her waist tight. Forget fashion….usually whatever this green eyed monster (as in jealous individual) sees her friend OR her enemy wearing is what she will be putting on next. The basic bitch doesn’t have to have a personality! As a matter of fact, if one took a deeper look into her mental…the basic bitch has a personality of wet paint drying on a wall! Men (really boys) will choose her over driven women every time because…lets be honest….the basic bitch takes no issue with having a man climax all over her face! Yum! Cum Shots…she exclaims! So much about the basic bitch confuses me. She doesn’t even have to set hair appointments cause to be honest no man gives a damn what she looks like. Forget a mani or pedi! Them toes haven’t been touched in decades unless upon request! These boys know she’s not going anywhere and that’s why they love her! And her self esteem is that of any person within 50 feet of her. She has no real identity! And that’s her real charm! The basic bitch would be forgettable if not for the fact that she lurks behind us strong, driven, and beautiful women! She’s simple minded and just about anything pleases her but don’t you dare call her out on her…“basicness” because she will deny it every step of the way! Still even with all her negative traits, there’s one thing I admire about the basic bitch….she never has to be anything but basic! So here I am on day 5 of not wearing any makeup nor dressing up and a little voice is saying…Kingston, you should have started off your day with a 5 mile run, showered, dressed to the nines, and then took yourself out for a shopping spree and a great lunch! So here I lay in all my “unbasicness” feeling bad about neglecting myself for the last 5 days! Oh the guilt is real! I’m currently dressed up in a beautiful dress (at home lol) blogging, working on my blog anniversary project, and preparing myself for the rest of my work week! Oh why oh why can’t I be basic?! I’m still not wearing any makeup but my skin is glowing and I feel more like my normal self now that I’ve ditched my house clothes. But why oh why can’t I have some of the same freedoms of the basic bitch?! I would sleep better if I had no goals and didn’t have two careers! Oh the basic bitch must feel so restful all the time! On days like this, when I’m short on sleep and obsessed with my projects being executed to perfection, I dream about temporarily being a basic bitch. But even Kingston Jael Michaels can’t live out that nightmare for too long! I’m a BOSS!🙌🏽 So onto the next project with probably another sleepless night ahead of me….I still got time though…to shout out my basic bitches!😘 ~KJM on Charm School Monday saying….oh how I wish I could be basic…even for 5 seconds lol 😂