I wrote this early September 2015…before I left the ex factor. It was meant to be my first blog but then I decided against it. I wanted to introduce myself in a way where pain didn’t define me so I’ve been making you climax ever since! Lol. But in true Gemini fashion….there are many sides to me. FLASHBACK: Time and time again, I read articles that say that you will find yourself in many disrespectful situations because you do not know your self worth! Meme after meme stating that if someone cares for you they will do this and that and if they don’t…you have lost yourself. Some articles say that you straight up need JESUS! Well I know Jesus and I am in love with myself yet I am in the valley of self destruction!I am here to tell you that even if you have FAITH and you truly love yourself, storms will come! People will fail you! Your heart will be broken! Knowing Jesus and your self worth will not keep you out of the valley of self destruction but it will guide you through it! And you will thrive! So be easy on yourself.
No matter your faith, believe in some higher power than yourself. The valley will eat you alive if you are a nonbeliever. Eat your soul alive as your spirit leaves your human body. You see…you cannot rely on the human flesh….it was meant to perish.
What’s in this valley? Tear stained pillow cases and moments of regret. Always asking God…why me? These last couple of years, my heart has been crushed. I long for the days when they were in love and I was just in like. Long for the days where only I could entice myself. Where my next journey was more important to me than romantic conquests. I miss being numb. But now I am in the valley and the way out is unclear. So I pray and I pray….1st Corinthians Ch 13. And I pray for protection.
You don’t always enter the valley knowingly nor willingly. I did not see it coming. Think I made a wrong turn. How do I get out? Prayer, pushing forward, and taking each painful moment as a blessing that will make me stronger in life.
I did everything “right” yet I am here…in the valley. I wonder if he even sees that I am self destructing. I don’t think he sees me or cares to see the pain. Maybe the memes and articles are right? But they can’t be! I am thriving in every other area of my life and am a fairly happy person. I wasn’t raised to make romantic love the center of my life. But the corner of my life it lives in is falling apart. He won’t break me….he can’t break me because I will be delivered from this.
Contrary to popular belief, the valley is not for the weak. Where do you think prayer and self worth are needed the most? In that same valley. I know I will make it to the top of the highest hill and I will soar! I will be a better person for visiting this place and no one will ever dare suggest to me again that I don’t know my own self worth or that I don’t know Jesus. I know both and have faith that I will make it! You will too!
Stay blessed and most importantly, stay inspired! ~KJM on Flashback Friday saying thank you for reading!