Last night’s Being Mary Jane was breathtakingly brilliant! Lisa, MJ’s childhood friend, committed suicide. So much to say and so much to feel. Here’s a guide to some of the deep topics touched on:
10. Depression is a real disease. It’s not just someone being sad and begging for attention. Truth is, most of us…including myself, do not know how to handle people with mental illnesses. I’ve a cousin who is bipolar and does not take her meds. After years of a toxic relationship, I just stopped communicating with her. People with mental illnesses need help and their loved ones need support as well…on how to deal, how to cope, and how to help.
9. The Black community bottles up most things, including depression. Everything we keep quiet, however, is killing us quickly. Depression and AIDS are two diseases claiming our lives as fast as the sun shines on our faces daily.
8. We have to start a conversation about these illnesses. Burying them does not help. I don’t have all the answers but as I watched last night’s episode unfold chills went up and down my spine. It’s time and Mary Jane opened the door! Let’s start this conversation.
7. The most brilliant people often carry around the deepest demons. You could be crazy intelligent and talented but extremely sick/psychotic.
6. With the awareness that Lisa was sick, David took advantage of her illness. He took her money and allowed her to seduce him knowing full well he was in love with MJ. David really is a “bitch made” man as PJ described on last week’s episode! He is a soft disgusting penis.
5. David never deserved Mary Jane’s love nor Lisa’s friendship. He’s a user and selfish.
4. When all was said and done, David looked MJ in the face and told her it wasn’t her fault Lisa committed suicide! Even over Lisa’s dead body, David still did not take responsibility for his part in Lisa’s demise! This man deserves to be left all by himself!
3. We often times give our love to people who do not deserve it. Mary Jane is this beautiful talented black woman with a big heart and she gave her love cheaply. Even she did not know her true worth! MJ, Lisa, and the rest of us….have to forgive ourselves for loving someone with every fiber of our being that did not nor could not love us back. Some how we have to take that pain and move forward…with a forgiving heart, open mind, and a willingness to try love again with a new person.
2. Too many of us, like MJ, are addicted to pain. One of the quotes from last night’s episode was that “we choose our joys and sorrows before we experience them.” I don’t know if I truly believe that but I do believe that once you have had negative experiences with toxic people and you keep letting them back in to hurt you again…you are now addicted to the pain. I’m guilty of this too….Not knowing my worth and being addicted to pain…5 years and 3 months of pain. When Mary Jane told David that she has nothing left to give him….I felt it was a freeing moment for her and some of us watching! I pray that it’s the beginning of healing for her character and those of us in real life that have been there or are currently there!
And 1. This is the hardest thing for me to write. The part of the show that made me want to throw up last night is how Lisa’s mom was aware of the fact that Lisa’s step dad molested her from ages 9-16! Some women will do anything to keep a man…even allow him to rape her child! I’ve two such women in my family and I always say if either of them pass….don’t call me to attend their funerals unless you want me to spit on their bodies! While last night’s main theme was depression awareness…molestation is the dirty little secret killing communities all around the world. I’ve men and women in my family molested by family members or close family friends and even when the victims told…some members of my family chose to protect the abusers instead of the victims. As a result, some of my relatives are drugged out and/or suffering from a mental illness! Why does society put the victims of sexual assault/molestation on trial instantly and not the alleged abusers?! Jesus be a fence! If we can’t protect our kids…who will? This part of the story line was too real for me. If you are a victim of molestation/sexual assault…tell someone! If that person doesn’t listen keep telling until someone believes you and helps you! Never give up on yourself! And I’m so sorry this has happened to you! We often teach our children to watch out for the “boogie” man failing to mention that he has a greater chance of being someone they know and trust! This is how these sick people get away with it! And if you are a parent protecting someone who is raping your children there’s a special place in hell for you! Just watching the effects of molestation from the outside is devastating. It haunts me. What could we as a family/community have done better?! I forever ask myself this question. Be well my friends! ~KJM in deep thought on Hump Day