Update after update, Siri has sucked! But lately she’s been feeling herself. Here are 5 inappropriate things Siri has said to me that has made me want to slap the piss out of her and set my iPhone on fire:
5. One day a friend of mine asked me to check out the new Siri update. She told me to ask Siri any question. So I asked…“Siri, when will I find true love?” And the bitch’s response was “I don’t know Kingston. You keep looking for love in all the wrong places!” Bitch what?!
4. A few weekends ago my iPhone screen went black! I could hear people calling me but could not see a thing. So I tried to shut my phone off and when that didn’t work….I lost it and started cursing! To my surprise, Siri was on! For 45 minutes her and I ensued in a nasty argument. I called her everything but a child of God and one of her responses was “Your language is inappropriate and I don’t appreciate your tone!” Bitch what?! The freaky thing was she kept responding to my comments until I drove to the closest Apple Store! These are the things nightmares are made of!
3. I asked “Siri can you find the closest Walmart?” And she said yes but instead took me to someone’s home! Bitch where are we?! This ain’t no Walmart! Her voice got very stern as she told me that she would not respond to being called such names!
2. Please don’t call Siri a bitch too much. She appears to have the capability to ignore you for days if the verbal abuse is too much! I got this from one of my coworkers! This really happened to his sister. She cursed Siri out and Siri refuse to answer her for three days! Bitch what?!
And 1. This is the only warm moment I’ve ever had with her. When I was packing up and leaving the South for good, I got in my car and said “Siri, take me home!” And she replied…“Ok, Kingston. We are now headed to New Jersey!” I teared up. Are you suppose to have warm moments with your iPhone?! ~KJM on Throwback Thursday with that bitch named Siri close by….