He was probably there the first time Elijah approached me. I felt exhaustion, fear, and excitement as I looked into Elijah’s eyes. This was probably why I didn’t notice him there. I stood in a prayerful meditation never realizing the battle had already begun. He was right there with Elijah and I.
The first time you kissed me passionately, he was there. I was so nervous and so scared yet you took me in your arms and kissed me. You opened my heart for a split second, Elijah, but it closed quickly because he was right there with us.
He was on our first date. I know this because I wanted to open up so much to you but something held me back. He held me back because he was right there with us. Something in your eyes, Elijah, made me want to tell you that he wasn’t going to go quietly but somehow my words got in the way and he rejoiced because he knew what his being right there with us would do to me.
The first time you made love to me, Elijah, he was in between us. At times you felt close but towards the end you felt so far away. I can’t believe he was right there with us! I wanted to let go and just fall deeply for you but once again he was right there with us. I don’t know if there was anything you could do to make him go away. So the distance between us grew and he smiled on because he knew what his presence had done to me…to us.
Finally, I indicate to you, Elijah, that he (my ex) had been with us the whole time and I was beyond broken. For a moment we spoke of hope and he finally disappeared. Before we could move forward though…I notice another shadow. I spent so much time focusing on his presence that I never saw her. Elijah, she was right there with us too. So with my past and your past, we stood right there awkwardly…headed no where….