I started to write this blog then stopped myself several times. This is one of the worst possible times to express my feelings on this topic (in wake of what’s going on in Orlando) but it’s been heavy on my heart. Sunday night, I found out from my best friend, Zack, that an ex friend of ours (Tommy) is getting married soon…to a WOMAN. Now let’s back it up. I was friends with Tommy for four years but all his lying and deceptive behavior killed our friendship shortly after we graduated from college. In college, he told so many lies about me that I lost track…all while pretending to be a good friend to me. He treated Zack like scum too but poor Zack had a hard time understanding the fact that Tommy is a piss poor excuse for a friend. To this day, Zack tries hard to forgive and understand Tommy. I can sort of understand why Tommy kept Zack at bay in his adult life. You see there was a time Tommy wasn’t staying at his apartment with his college roommate and we would call searching for him. He told Zack he was staying with Autumn and I in our EFFICIENCY apartment (wtf) and then told me he was staying at Zack’s (who had a long term girlfriend living with him). Zack isn’t the type of person to let a lie slip by him. So he investigated…only to find out Tommy had a MALE lover in Zack’s building! Yes you read that right! Zack knocked on the dude’s door only to find him and Tommy answering the door in their boxers! Zack was so hurt he called me up yelling! We weren’t mad Tommy was gay/bi sexual but we were hurt by all his lies! I mean one time Tommy told me he got crabs from a hotel room! I actually went to the doctor with him to support him but looking back on it…Tommy was playing the hell out of us! In college, he had two girlfriends…one before we found out he slept with men and one after. To my knowledge, he never told either that he also slept with men! When Zack and I confronted Tommy about his biggest lie (FYI he claims he is NOT GAY), he said he could never come out because he already had a younger brother openly gay (which his family loves and supports) and didn’t want to disappoint his family by not having at least one male carry on his family name. I just didn’t think this was a good reason to deceive anyone especially a loving family…not to mention all the unsuspecting women who were being exposed to Tommy’s unsafe sex practices! Before I could get in too deep into his web of lies, I ended my friendship with Tommy. Our friendship did not end because of his sexual orientation…it ended because Tommy tried to destroy me by spreading more lies about me…all while telling me our friendship would never be over. He’s just a lunatic! A selfish delusional lunatic! I have not spoken to nor had contact with Tommy since 2004. He never even showed up for Zack’s wedding despite the fact that Zack was always flying out to different states and supporting all Tommy did. Now back to present time…Since Zack gave me the news about Tommy’s up coming nuptials (which he found out on FB through a mutual buddy) I have barely been able to sleep. Has Tommy become more truthful? Does his bride to be knows he also slept with men? I just keep thinking about her and asking the Lord to deliver her if she does not truly know who she is marrying! I have many gay friends. Some openly out/married and some that never talk about their personal life but just don’t date the other gender. I support people living in their truth! And I understand that we all hide things about ourselves but isn’t this level of deceit of high concern?! I keep thinking about her. Does she know? Does she want to know? I hear she is from Nebraska and the wedding will be in her home town. I pray a Nebraska wind comes through that shakes her spirit and raises her consciousness. I know it’s none of my business but two boys (that I know of for sure) tried to make me their beard. God did not allow me to stay in those relationships past 3 months. HE sent a wind for me and when it hit my face (more so the second time as I was an adult then)…I followed. I never questioned the angel that came to rescue me and I never looked back. We all deserve to spend our lives with our true soulmates. No one is ever perfect but I would rather we trust each other with our secrets and learn to build from there then to be lead to believe I married one person only to wake up looking at another. Once again, I know this is none of my business but it’s so heavy on my heart and mind. Dear Miss Nebraska, I love you and I don’t even know you. I love you enough, as my sister, to pray for your deliverance. May that angel come visit you and may the force of the wind be so strong that your unborn children feel it. ~KJM asking…if it were you…would you want to know? It’s Hump Day…please let me know how you feel as I’m so conflicted.