It’s that time of year again. “A New Year, A New Me” most of us scream while you are quietly taking some steps backwards! It’s very hard to commit to change and that’s why many of us need the New Year to inspire us. Here are some changes most of us know damn well we need to make but are hesitant to do so! Time for Kingston Jael to give you that loving push you so desperately need.
7. DUMPING THAT TOXIC FRIEND! We all have them…people that intentionally and unintentionally drain the life out of us and bring negativity into our lives. Usually it’s someone we grew up with but sometimes it can be a new friend. We care for them dearly but every interaction with them is sucking the life out of us. It’s time! No matter how long you guys been down….some seasons of friendships do end. Don’t let the longevity of a friendship leave you feeling like a hostage. Swim to shore and leave that so called fake friend to drown (figure of speech) if need be!
6. ADAPTING HEALTHIER EATING HABITS/WORKING OUT! We all need to eat better and work out more (as long as there aren’t any health issues preventing you from doing so)….but please do not be one of those crazy people on some cleanse that is meant to be a lifestyle change! Who can survive off of grass and lemon water? Girl bye! Today is the day to start your healthy eating habits but start slow! That goes for working out too! Everything is a process and that includes change! Start by walking and then walking and running. Don’t force yourself into marathon mode when you haven’t exercised in 10 years! And if you can, don’t do it alone. See your physician and a trainer before starting any hardcore workout routine. I know you can do it! There’s just no need to do it by tomorrow! The more you gradually make changes is the more it will feel normal. Also, stick to changes that are reasonable. I don’t know about you but I can’t eat mulch with seaweed for the rest of my life while others eat steak! Lastly, be easy on yourself and your progress. Don’t get discouraged if you don’t see changes overnight. Keep at it! “Slow and steady wins the race.”
5. SAYING GOODBYE TO ALWAYS SAYING YES! I’m exhausted just writing that! You see…NO is my favorite word. Some of you are trying to please the world while losing your mind. As a matter of fact, you are probably reading this while you are babysitting ten of your neighbors’ children while having to take care of your three and currently cleaning up the poop of one of your neighbors’ pet alligator! Yea you heard me….pet alligator! And if you are not careful you will get eaten…hopefully by life first and not said alligator lol. Back away from it all and learn your limits! Learn to say NO! Being a people pleaser is one of the fastest ways to become burnt out and depressed. So drop the poop, send the children home, and stop saying yes to ridiculous favors that will leave you wanting to down a bottle of tequila afterwards. In the words of the character Whitley Gilbert on “A Different World”…“relax, relate, and release!” Yea you could say NO to this advice but I promise this will be the one time you will regret not saying YES!
4. STOP THE BREAKUPS TO MAKE UPS! I’ve recently had to stop this myself. Usually what was wrong the first time is what was wrong the tenth time! I’m not sure why I got addicted to the cycle. Well it might have been that I really loved the ex factor but at a certain point “love don’t live here no more.” Save yourself time and be open to new love. It’s the worst feeling when everyone around you is getting engaged and married and you still trying to get him to just be your boyfriend! FML! Been there and over it✌🏾️Know that you are worth more and go get that more! I’m not eating burgers anymore…only medium rare steak from the best cow!🙌🏽
3. LOSE THAT SHITTY ASS JOB! This one is definitely on my 2016 list! Too often we feel unappreciated, under paid, and worn out from these tired ass jobs! It’s time for change! Now it’s still an employers’ market so be cautious here. If you are unhappy with your job, start your job searching and networking while working that shitty ass job! Every day tell yourself that your new job is on the way! Be diligent and purposeful and remember that no change happens overnight unless it’s in God’s plans. Hold tight and don’t get discouraged…your new job is on the way!
2. STAYING IN A BAD RELATIONSHIP! So you guys may not be in the “breakups to make ups” cycle but you are certainly in a rut! Every night you lay next to him knowing he’s not the one and it just isn’t working. Yet you stay because you don’t want to be alone, you are scared of being on the dating scene again (me too!), or he’s a good man…he’s just not good for you! You are just hurting both of you by staying where you know you don’t belong. There was a time in my life (just for 3 months) where I had just broken up with the ex factor and ended up dating someone even worse. Heartbreak made it hard for me to see all the warning signs. For the most part, the rebound guy treated me well but there was just something in my spirit that knew I was in danger! I got out of that situation as quickly as I could and spent the next year and a half alone…of course with the ex factor still texting me! I never want to lay next to a man again knowing my heart, spirit, and hopes for the future were somewhere else! Be certain, be strong, and then take steps to leave a relationship that you know was never meant for you!
1. NOT PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST! We sometimes try to be everything to everyone…leaving ourselves feeling depleted. I don’t care if you are a mom or just a single woman without kids, you have to find time each week to regroup! Your are no good to anyone exhausted and just straight out of your mind! I know this is easier said than done but you have to try. When you are all things to yourself, you will have energy to be some things to others. Putting others aside, do you love you? If so, then you shouldn’t be last on your own list all the time. If not, today is a great day to start! ~KJM wishing you a Happy New Year and a Happy New You on Charm School Monday!