Time and time again I get complaints from people around me that I am AGGRESSIVE! Yet when they need to get important stuff done…I am the first person they call! 😐 I’m kind of the asshole and black sheep of my family. Men and women just get out of my way when they see me coming at a family gathering. 🙄 Dramatic much?! There is no in between with me. You either love me or can’t stand my ass…either way I keep breathing, keep living, and keep being me. My words (if you have been following this blog…you already know) can cut. Like sometimes I line folks up like it’s a shooting range and I just hand them each their asses…rarely feeling like I should have been easier on them. You see I just don’t care most of the time when I am speaking my truth. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED IN ORDER TO MAKE OTHER FOLKS COMFORTABLE! ✌🏾️ Where did I get this “attitude” from?! Well…if you look at my baby pictures you will see that the resting bitch face has been in my life since birth. Like you could tell the people I liked verses the people I could not stand…even in my 9 month old photos. Lol. I have a couple nieces and nephews who have adopted the same face and I crack up at their pictures and yell…that’s Auntie’s baby! 😂 But I digress. Lol. Back to the “aggressive” issue at hand. I grew up seeing my mother, Mama Michaels, being a people pleaser. She didn’t get gangsta with her thoughts, words, and deeds until she was in her 40s😳 She use to keep things in and cry at home about any injustice she was experiencing in life. My Daddy, on the other hand, would tell a person to go screw themselves in a heartbeat! He wasn’t wasting one night stressing over trifling folks!✌🏾️ Nope not Papa Michaels! He’s the black sheep of his family too! lol. Then again so is my mom! 😳What I learned from this is….being a people pleaser and letting folks walk all over you will still have them hating you the first time you say NO or cannot do something for them! That’s insane! I watched my mom bend over backwards for everyone (especially her parents) and they in turn…treated her like shit! Like if I’m going to be an outcast of the family…I at least want to do so by being myself and living my life to the fullest without letting others hinder my growth! Speaking of growth…I grew up with Papa Michaels teaching us kids that “if your right hand disrespects you…CUT IT OFFF!” I took that message to heart! So even if we have been friends for over 15 years and one day I find that you do not serve a positive purpose in my life…you are gone! I mourn you like you died…and once I’m done mourning…I move on with my life with no love nor hate for you…for you just do not exist from that point on. ✌🏾️That shit pisses people off…that I’m not angry and not still thinking of them!🙄 Can’t live on my name if we part by me wishing you the best and I never speak of you again…then again some of folks would live on my name just for me exercising my right to breathe air! Hmmmm….think I am on to something. By just my race (black) and gender (female) society already has me pinned as the “angry black woman!” I use to take issue with such a title then I had an revolutionary thought…that chick gets shit done and she is no one to be fucked with! Being nice will still have folks living on your name and every damn thing you do. So like what’s the point unless being nice is your natural nature. Well it damn sure ain’t mine and y’all know that! 😩 If being “nice” is to your detriment….don’t fucking do it! Do not allow folks to abuse you emotionally, verbally, and physically! You have to preserve yourself and your inner spirit because if you cannot depend on yourself first…then who do you have left? Being at the mercy of others?!!! Yea…I wouldn’t try that because folks will let you done…easily…and still sleep well at night! Eureka! I just got another idea! Perhaps my “aggressiveness” is really me being ASSERTIVE! If I were a man…would society still take issue with my ability to put the smack down on bullshit?! Would anyone tell me I shouldn’t say that…I shouldn’t wear that…nor should I THINK that if I were a man?!!! These are the thoughts that fill my mind. Where some of us ASSERTIVE women go wrong sometimes is trying to argue that we aren’t aggressive. That’s like arguing with someone who just called you a bitch…that you aren’t a bitch! It’s a losing argument. They already stepped out the box and disrespected you…no need to argue with an idiot! All you can do is continue being YOU!🙌🏽Maybe I am a little too blunt sometimes but if y’all don’t come for me…I sure wouldn’t come for you because I do like peace in my life. But know if you drop mess at my doorstep…you will live to regret it! I went after my education and career passionately and with that same “aggression!” So why in the world would I abandon those techniques in other aspects of my life when it brought me success in those areas? If you aren’t really hearing my message…let me put it to you this way. I am who I am from birth! Only I should decide what areas in life I need to work on. And if my “aggression” makes you uncomfortable…just don’t fuck with me. My ASSERTIVENESS is my natural nature. Some women are just built like that! I was never raised to be sweet and polite but frankly if I had been…this lifestyle blog wouldn’t read as interestingly as it does! 🙌🏽 ~KJM on Throwback Thursday saying I can’t wait to look at my baby pictures again and laugh about how at first glance I was a firecracker and many decades later…I still am!